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CHAPTER TWENTY CHAPTER TWENTY Lucas

each passing day my sister became increasingly strange ... it hurts to be alone, afraid of his shadow and does not go out hardly at home. It's never been too normal, I am aware of this ... but lately has gotten worse ... He
least one compelling reason to jump for joy, but it seems not to notice ... was beside a guy who loves and who loves her really! Should not this be enough to make her happy? But no!
What should I say?!
I had found the perfect girl, sweet, cute, sensitive, simple ... and I lost! I lost because I was a stupid irresponsible! I should not trust Giuly ... I should not drink those beers ... damn I should not meet her that night ... the story was over between us ... but she was crying ... crying on the phone when I called to see us one last time ... and I could not resist, I yielded to her entreaties and I met in a bar ... and she cried, cried and asked me one last chance.
"Giuly is useless, why try again? You and I have nothing in common! It took four years to figure it out, but there it is! "

" Not true! We are meant to be together so do you. You can not not love me anymore from one day to another. "
" No true love does not disappear overnight. But maybe the feeling was off for some time and I had not noticed. "

"Lucas Admit it! Admit that got to do that pale brunette! "
" I can not say no! I feel something for her. But that's not why it's over between us, you must believe. "

Giuly did not believe me and continued to blame Holly breaking. He said that if she had not entered the scene the two of us we'd be together again ...
And maybe not all wrongs! I was convinced that Giuly was perfect, it was the right girl for me, I was convinced I really love it ... but then I met Holly and I realized what was different from Giuly In everything! I do not know how to explain it, but suddenly I could see all its flaws ... I saw what was almost self-centered and sometimes bad, things I had already been noted, but I could not see. Slowly, slowly I realized that what bound me to her was not love but habit. But then again is not that I left for Holly! I left only because he loved her more, I could not go on pretending not to see. The feeling for Holly came only later, when we started to see some 'more often ... after the story was over with Giuly.
I got the first beer just came in and without realizing it at the end of the evening was now up to four. I'm not saying I'm drunk, but close enough, though I did not want to drive, so I left the car in the parking lot and I walk her home.

not remember what happened on the way or what we said, but without realizing it, I found myself Giuly on me, kissed me and begged me to make love to her one last time ... not I should ... I'm not so ... but maybe because I could not resist alcohol and I yielded to his request. I knew it was not fair, I knew that I would have regretted it ... but at that moment I did not have the strength to resist to my baser instincts.

So we got into his house and we made love on her sofa beds in the kitchen ... ... ... When I woke up in the morning, with a heavy head for alcohol in the evening, I felt dirty ... I had just finished saying that I loved her more, I loved another hour and I had sex with her like an animal out of control ...

cowards came out from her home while she slept and I ran home in tears to Holly.
No, I could not hide what I did, I had to tell him!
Holly was in my pajamas and with the sleepy face, I had woken her

"Lucas but you know what time is it? It's five o'clock in the morning! "
Then I looked at him and saw in my eyes something wrong
" Come by plane ... but do the children sleep! "
As I entered I had close to me so strong ... I wanted to feel her smell, I feel perhaps for the last time. I was almost certain that once I had confessed that she was kicked out of his life.

At the end of my confession, she remained silent, staring at me. He was released from my embrace and slowly went down on the sofa.
I did not understand what could go through my head, but I knew I hurt her deeply.

"Holly please do something! Insult me, spit in my face, whatever you want ... but I beg you for something. "I told her I quietly not to wake the children.
"What can I say Lucas? You've behaved like a 'pet? It's true! What hurt me? It 'true! I ... I do not know what to think ... I do not understand what has prompted you to make a gesture like that ... or maybe you do not know ... Lucas ... I do not know what to say ... I see by your eyes that you are sincere when you say you did not want, but you did, you can not turn back ... "
" I was stupid ... I do not know what came over me. I can not ask you to understand or forgive me, for you I would not do, I know ... "
I did not know what to say, I hated myself for what I did, I hated myself for not having been able to control. I decided the best thing to do was go ... it would be better for me, I did not have the courage to face her, and her, I definitely despised at the time.
But as I was to open the door I stopped taking my arm.
"But you're not in my place! You are wrong, it's true, but you are immediately going on to tell me everything, I did not have any other hidden as it did for you. This means a lot to me. "
He had tears in my eyes ... tears I had caused me, unintentionally ...
" Lucas ... Do not go! "

" do not ask you to pretend it did not happen Holly nothing ... I just want to have a chance to make you understand I'm not the last night ... I wish I had the opportunity to let you know what you mean to me! "
" I do not want to come out of my life Lucas. "
" I do not want to get out! "
" Promise that does not happen again. "
" I swear on what I hold most dear, my love. "
stayed in close embrace for what seemed like endless ... but I could continue to be so for life. I wanted to be part of the life of Holly and her children, I wanted them to be the father he never had ... I knew that was what I really wanted from life.
But someone up there thought otherwise ... two months later, when all seemed over, Giuly occurred in my office making me fall on the world. She was pregnant!
that sad night, a prey to base instincts and alcohol had not thought the precautions ...

"What about Lucas hour? I'm not going to abort, and this problem is because of you, "she said immediately after she announced the news.
"But are you sure? I mean ... are you sure she is pregnant? "
" Of course! What do you think I did the test this morning! If you doubt my words I took for you to see the outcome! "
" Are ... are you sure he's mine? "I asked him, hoping for a negative answer to this question but Giuly gave in outburst.
"How dare you ask such a thing?! For whom do you take me? I'm not a bitch! Of course I'm sure it's yours! "
... I was shocked because I was so stupid ... What should I do?
"So what are you doing daddy?"
"What would you like to do? You want to keep? "
" I told you, I'm not going to have an abortion! I do not want to be the laughingstock of the country that became pregnant and had to put abortion. But I will not even be the one to pay for your mistake. "
" you're giving me no real alternative? "

" No! If you want to be the father of this child, and seeing it grow, you have to stay with me and forget that brunette. Otherwise I will leave this country and do not ever see shit! YOU NEVER GOT IT! "
" Let ... let me time to decide Giuly! You can not plunge ahead with a story like that and expect to decide on the spot. "
" I'll give you time until tonight Lucas! You have ten hours to decide whether to be the father of this child or that it was nothing for him! "
I could not take such an important decision without talking to Holly ... if I had decided to take my responsibilities as a father, she should no longer part of my life ... on the other hand I could live in peace knowing that you have given birth to a child who was not even knew of my existence?
I went immediately to the home of Holly and explained the situation. And for the second time he opened a wound in my heart, I saw its eyes slowly filled with tears.

"Lucas have to take your responsibility! A child needs a father ... he has no right! "
" But this would mean giving up yourself you get it?! I do not want to miss ... "
" Would you be able to leave your son? Could you be happy? ... Because I could not live with a man who could do it! I know what I'm talking about Lucas. My kids do not know who their father because he could have done without think twice! Lucas No, no! I can not let you do this to your son. I tell you with a heavy heart ... believe me ... but you must be present in the life of this child. "

He was right, I knew he was right. And let's face it Giuly will never be a good mother is too selfish and arrogant ... in order to take care of a child. What else could I do but give up my love for Holly?
The same evening I gave the news to my mother and my sister, I am shocked ... my mother most of all ... have tried to convince me that there would be one thousand alternatives to marriage with Giuly, but I knew perfectly well that if I had not asked her to marry the would have taken the cabin and puppets and would leave the country ... it would be perfectly capable.
So the evening I went to his house to inform my decision ...
"Oh my love I knew you'd made the right decision! You'll be happy! "
Happy?! I do not think is the right word ... I do not think I will ever be really happy now ... but I swear I'll do anything because my son is, it will always be my love, shall never want for anything ...

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... new life.

It's never too late.
The new year has started and plenty this is my first post for 2009. First I would like to wish a better year for all the people who deserve it and all those who, in their small, struggling every day to make the coming year better than the left.
This year I want to give more space to the story, the characters who have contributed to improving the lives of everyone of us, through large and small gestures.
begin telling the story of Stephen Biko . Steven Bantu Biko
was born December 18, 1946 in King William's Town, South Africa. His family was very average and he was a brilliant student who was expelled from his university for his political activity in multi-racial organization, the NUSAS (National Union of South African Students). He continued his studies at another university and all its political activities to combat apartheid, was officially founded in 1948 and broadly on the following principles:
...

• prohibition of interracial marriage;
• Law according to which sexual intercourse with a person of a different race became a criminal offense;
• law requiring citizens to register as whites, blacks,
• law allowing to ban all opposition that was labeled by the government as "communist" (used in 1960 to outlaw the African National Congress (ANC), the largest political organization, which included blacks, the socialist but not communist);
• law that prohibited people of different races to get in some urban areas;
• law prohibiting people of different color to use the same public facilities (fountains, waiting rooms, platforms, etc..)
• law providing for a series of measures all designed to make it more difficult for blacks access to education;
• law that sanctioned racial discrimination in the workplace;
• law that established the Bantustans , a sort of "reserves" for the black population, nominally independent but actually under the control of the South African government;
• law which deprived of South African citizenship and rights related to it's inhabitants the Bantustans.

In 1956 the policy of apartheid was extended to all citizens of color, including Asians. In the 60's 3.5 million blacks called Bantu were forcibly evicted from their homes and resettled in the homeland of the South ". The blacks were deprived of political rights and civil. They could attend only the establishment of special agricultural and trade schools. The shops were the first white to serve all customers blacks. They must have special internal passports to move into white areas, under penalty of arrest or worse. "(From Wikipedia)

In 1968, Steve Biko became the co-founder and first president of SASO (South African Students' Organisation ) un'gruppo inside the Black Consciousness Movement ("Black consciousness movement"), in order to awaken the consciences of the blacks in South Africa through lessons and activities. Since 1973, the South African government put the index and his political activity was considered dangerous and subversive. He was made a physical and psychological warfare, a series of arrests and beatings, until August 1977 when the first stopped at a place block of the police, then jailed, was arrested and brutally beaten for 24 days until 12 September 1977, when, following a further beating, she died.

An autopsy revealed that he was head trauma, un'emorraggia due to a boarded up, while the then Minister of Police stated: "Biko's death leaves me cold." (Biko's death leaves me indifferent).

The story did not leave indifferent Peter Gabriel, who in 1980 published the song Biko, which follows the video and the text:

September '77 (Sept. '77 )
Port Elizabeth weather fine ( Port Elizabeth, good weather )
It Was Business as Usual ( was the usual work)
In police room 619 ( In police room 619)
Oh Biko, Biko, Biko Because ( Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko)
Oh Biko, Biko, Biko Because ( Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko)
Yihla Moja, Moja Yihla [* ]
-The man is dead ( The man is dead.)

When I try to sleep at night ( When I try to sleep, night)
I can only dream in red ( I can only dream in red)
The outside world is black and white ( The world outside is black and white)
With only one color dead ( And only one of these two colors is dead. )
Oh Biko, Biko, Biko Because ( Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko )
Oh Biko, Biko, Biko Because ( Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko )
Yihla Moja, Yihla
Moja-The man is dead ( The man died. )

You can blow out a candle ( You can blow out a candle )
But you can not blow out a fire ( But you can not extinguish a fire )
Once the flames begin to catch ( Once the flames will begin to take root )
The wind will blow it higher ( The wind blows over the top. )
Oh Biko, Biko, Biko Because ( Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko )
Yihla Moja, Yihla
Moja-The man is dead ( The man died. )

And the eyes of the world are ( And the eyes of the world )
watching now ( Now, they're looking )
watching now. ( Now, they're looking )

on Biko was also made a film, directed by British director Richard Attenborough and released in 1987 , entitled Cry Freedom (original title Cry Freedom), which tells the story of the last days of Steve Biko.

Stephen Biko would awaken consciences because " The most powerful weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed."

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"Mary? Mary ... but you're strange? "
" E '? ... Sorry ... I'm lost in my thoughts ...
It 'been a week since that evening, the signs on the face are not seen to justify them ... I told him that I slipped back from the market and I hit his face on the pavement ... sorry but trivial was the most credible that I should come to mind!
I'm always afraid to meet again or that guy ... ... Gabriel and I'm afraid something could happen to Mark ... I mean I'm not passing a good time! In addition
I thought the words of the guy who hit me and I froze the blood, ".... You have not been as gentle as your friend ... "I did not give much weight to this phrase at first, but after thinking about it I wondered what ever he wanted to say ... I've thought and thought and finally I think I understand ... Kia ! E 'Gabriel was then to do this to her? The child she is carrying is his? If only Kia could remember something! It 's true that you do not remember anything from one part is better ... I do not have to live with the constant thought of that night, but the other can not denounce the villain who raped

I know if my guess is right!
For this, just wake up, I went to the home of Kia, I want to try to understand if you have a vague memory of the angel's face white.
I'm here in the room of my friend and I look ... I look more and more I wonder whether it is right to remember it, I wonder if it is right to disrupt her newfound peace of mind.
"Kia can I ask you?"

"Need you ask?" He replies, laughing
"Well ... here you do not remember anything about that day? The day that ... "
not finish the sentence and makes me smile on her lips died instantly
" No Mary do not recall anything for luck and do not want to remember, "says firm
" But even what you did in the morning? "I There
sorry "I said no!"
"But ..."

"Mary is enough! If you come here to talk about that day is better than back home. Otherwise, change the subject. I do not want to think about ... I do not remember and for me it never happened! "
" But the child she was carrying ... "

"The child is not to blame! Please do not bring it into play. Now you decide to stop talking about or what happened or you go. "
" Well excuse me, I will not go again! "
Kia watching me with stern eyes ... but then his expression changes and becomes a grin.

"You know yesterday I went to do the first ultrasound?" He says softly caressing her belly that is starting to glimpse the first outline of a tummy.
"Really?! Cabbages do not you tell me anything? So ... you already know the sex? From I'm too curious ... "
" It but will remain a surprise! "

" Wicked! "

" Come on do not do that ... I would not even know me! I want to be a surprise for everyone! Imagine that Mark has tried to bribe the doctor to know in preview, but it did not succeed! "

spend another bit 'of time to chat about this and that, when I realize that it is almost the 'lunchtime, I have to go home before my mother goes to the restaurant, Giuly not to leave home alone.
I leave from my friendly greeting him with a big kiss and making me promise that I will call on your next visit. I mean this baby, after all, it's like a second grandchild for me (because I'm not only with his mother's brother, but also because Kia is like a sister), so I want to be involved in all that concerns him.

At home waiting for me the harpy, as always, is sitting on the couch reading the newspaper. My mother is still at home, in this case study that proceeds from the closet.
"Mama I'm back!"

"Hello darling. Everything okay? "
" It everything is perfect! "I do not know why, but the light-hearted chat with Kia has put me in a good mood.

"Listen to the lunch in the fridge in the kitchen, just heat it and Giuly has already eaten." Nor was a little girl who needs to be fed, "I will soon go out. "
" Good Mother. Ah, but the renewal of the local way forward? "
" There are only a few details and then we can reopen. Between now and tomorrow we will decide on the day 's inauguration. "

" Great! "
I'm really glad that the restaurant reopen. It 's true, I do not never liked it much, but I know how important it is for my mother, and the fact that they were so close to losing it made me re-evaluate.
"I'm glad you will be so excited! And remember that there will always be a seat for you in the restaurant. "
" And this time I promise to do my best! "

My mother seems touched by my words ... let mom did not say anything so touching! ... Oh God no ... again the look of someone who sees dance naked around the room!

was a life that did not see it !!!!!!!!!!! Seized by an impulse Mother of madness began to dance before my astonished eyes.
"Mom! Mom ... but you all right? "
" Of course .... I'm just glad that my daughter was beginning to appreciate the Pirina's Mama! "Answers without stop dancing.

Ok it's official! My mother came out of his mind! Maybe because it is becoming grandmother?!

What's more we begin to dance ... even Giuly crazy in the house I could endure but two not!

"Hey do you celebrate? Me? And the gifts? "The usual ego centrist.
"Giuly are good that you're pregnant!"

"Always to break you! Once you do something fun in this house you come and ruin everything! "
Madness General Stuwesant at home ... but Giuly could also wait!

My mother comes together and kissing on the cheek moves towards the door.
"See you in a few hours honey!" Before exiting turns and looks at me again with the tear in the eye. Now it's gone ...

Giuly While taking a nap on the couch I decided to connect to the internet ...

... I have great things to do and a little 'I'm bored ... plus Mark is out of town today and we can not see ... later on face book and peek a bit' pages of my contacts (which as you know are a few loooong ) ... usual photos usual comments ... well ... nothing new ... that ... what do I stress?

I get up and go to the kitchen to eat the spaghetti my mother left me in the fridge ... finished lunch again I find myself with nothing to do ... Giuly is always on the couch and if the purr of the big, is not that if he would wake up different ... the phone vibrates in my pocket ... it's got a message ... or a picture message ... Wow ... I sent him Gabriel.

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New faces. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN CHAPTER NINETEEN

As some already know I lost all the characters of my story so I had to recreate them from scratch. I have tried to improve some of them already that I was there but I hope I have done as much as possible like the original Mary. :)