each passing day my sister became increasingly strange ... it hurts to be alone, afraid of his shadow and does not go out hardly at home. It's never been too normal, I am aware of this ... but lately has gotten worse ... He least one compelling reason to jump for joy, but it seems not to notice ... was beside a guy who loves and who loves her really! Should not this be enough to make her happy? But no!
What should I say?!
I had found the perfect girl, sweet, cute, sensitive, simple ... and I lost! I lost because I was a stupid irresponsible! I should not trust Giuly ... I should not drink those beers ... damn I should not meet her that night ... the story was over between us ... but she was crying ... crying on the phone when I called to see us one last time ... and I could not resist, I yielded to her entreaties and I met in a bar ... and she cried, cried and asked me one last chance.
"Giuly is useless, why try again? You and I have nothing in common! It took four years to figure it out, but there it is! "
" Not true! We are meant to be together so do you. You can not not love me anymore from one day to another. "" No true love does not disappear overnight. But maybe the feeling was off for some time and I had not noticed. "
"Lucas Admit it! Admit that got to do that pale brunette! "" I can not say no! I feel something for her. But that's not why it's over between us, you must believe. "
Giuly did not believe me and continued to blame Holly breaking. He said that if she had not entered the scene the two of us we'd be together again ...
And maybe not all wrongs! I was convinced that Giuly was perfect, it was the right girl for me, I was convinced I really love it ... but then I met Holly and I realized what was different from Giuly In everything! I do not know how to explain it, but suddenly I could see all its flaws ... I saw what was almost self-centered and sometimes bad, things I had already been noted, but I could not see. Slowly, slowly I realized that what bound me to her was not love but habit. But then again is not that I left for Holly! I left only because he loved her more, I could not go on pretending not to see. The feeling for Holly came only later, when we started to see some 'more often ... after the story was over with Giuly.
I got the first beer just came in and without realizing it at the end of the evening was now up to four. I'm not saying I'm drunk, but close enough, though I did not want to drive, so I left the car in the parking lot and I walk her home.
not remember what happened on the way or what we said, but without realizing it, I found myself Giuly on me, kissed me and begged me to make love to her one last time ... not I should ... I'm not so ... but maybe because I could not resist alcohol and I yielded to his request. I knew it was not fair, I knew that I would have regretted it ... but at that moment I did not have the strength to resist to my baser instincts. 
So we got into his house and we made love on her sofa beds in the kitchen ... ... ... When I woke up in the morning, with a heavy head for alcohol in the evening, I felt dirty ... I had just finished saying that I loved her more, I loved another hour and I had sex with her like an animal out of control ... 
cowards came out from her home while she slept and I ran home in tears to Holly. No, I could not hide what I did, I had to tell him!
Holly was in my pajamas and with the sleepy face, I had woken her
"Lucas but you know what time is it? It's five o'clock in the morning! "Then I looked at him and saw in my eyes something wrong
" Come by plane ... but do the children sleep! "
As I entered I had close to me so strong ... I wanted to feel her smell, I feel perhaps for the last time. I was almost certain that once I had confessed that she was kicked out of his life.
At the end of my confession, she remained silent, staring at me. He was released from my embrace and slowly went down on the sofa. I did not understand what could go through my head, but I knew I hurt her deeply.
"Holly please do something! Insult me, spit in my face, whatever you want ... but I beg you for something. "I told her I quietly not to wake the children. "What can I say Lucas? You've behaved like a 'pet? It's true! What hurt me? It 'true! I ... I do not know what to think ... I do not understand what has prompted you to make a gesture like that ... or maybe you do not know ... Lucas ... I do not know what to say ... I see by your eyes that you are sincere when you say you did not want, but you did, you can not turn back ... "
" I was stupid ... I do not know what came over me. I can not ask you to understand or forgive me, for you I would not do, I know ... "
I did not know what to say, I hated myself for what I did, I hated myself for not having been able to control. I decided the best thing to do was go ... it would be better for me, I did not have the courage to face her, and her, I definitely despised at the time.
But as I was to open the door I stopped taking my arm.
"But you're not in my place! You are wrong, it's true, but you are immediately going on to tell me everything, I did not have any other hidden as it did for you. This means a lot to me. "
He had tears in my eyes ... tears I had caused me, unintentionally ...
" Lucas ... Do not go! "
" do not ask you to pretend it did not happen Holly nothing ... I just want to have a chance to make you understand I'm not the last night ... I wish I had the opportunity to let you know what you mean to me! "" I do not want to come out of my life Lucas. "
" I do not want to get out! "
" Promise that does not happen again. "
" I swear on what I hold most dear, my love. "
stayed in close embrace for what seemed like endless ... but I could continue to be so for life. I wanted to be part of the life of Holly and her children, I wanted them to be the father he never had ... I knew that was what I really wanted from life.
But someone up there thought otherwise ... two months later, when all seemed over, Giuly occurred in my office making me fall on the world. She was pregnant!
that sad night, a prey to base instincts and alcohol had not thought the precautions ...
"What about Lucas hour? I'm not going to abort, and this problem is because of you, "she said immediately after she announced the news. "But are you sure? I mean ... are you sure she is pregnant? "
" Of course! What do you think I did the test this morning! If you doubt my words I took for you to see the outcome! "
" Are ... are you sure he's mine? "I asked him, hoping for a negative answer to this question but Giuly gave in outburst.
"How dare you ask such a thing?! For whom do you take me? I'm not a bitch! Of course I'm sure it's yours! "
... I was shocked because I was so stupid ... What should I do?
"So what are you doing daddy?"
"What would you like to do? You want to keep? "
" I told you, I'm not going to have an abortion! I do not want to be the laughingstock of the country that became pregnant and had to put abortion. But I will not even be the one to pay for your mistake. "
" you're giving me no real alternative? "
" No! If you want to be the father of this child, and seeing it grow, you have to stay with me and forget that brunette. Otherwise I will leave this country and do not ever see shit! YOU NEVER GOT IT! "" Let ... let me time to decide Giuly! You can not plunge ahead with a story like that and expect to decide on the spot. "
" I'll give you time until tonight Lucas! You have ten hours to decide whether to be the father of this child or that it was nothing for him! "
I could not take such an important decision without talking to Holly ... if I had decided to take my responsibilities as a father, she should no longer part of my life ... on the other hand I could live in peace knowing that you have given birth to a child who was not even knew of my existence?
I went immediately to the home of Holly and explained the situation. And for the second time he opened a wound in my heart, I saw its eyes slowly filled with tears.
"Lucas have to take your responsibility! A child needs a father ... he has no right! "" But this would mean giving up yourself you get it?! I do not want to miss ... "
" Would you be able to leave your son? Could you be happy? ... Because I could not live with a man who could do it! I know what I'm talking about Lucas. My kids do not know who their father because he could have done without think twice! Lucas No, no! I can not let you do this to your son. I tell you with a heavy heart ... believe me ... but you must be present in the life of this child. "
He was right, I knew he was right. And let's face it Giuly will never be a good mother is too selfish and arrogant ... in order to take care of a child. What else could I do but give up my love for Holly? The same evening I gave the news to my mother and my sister, I am shocked ... my mother most of all ... have tried to convince me that there would be one thousand alternatives to marriage with Giuly, but I knew perfectly well that if I had not asked her to marry the would have taken the cabin and puppets and would leave the country ... it would be perfectly capable.
So the evening I went to his house to inform my decision ...
"Oh my love I knew you'd made the right decision! You'll be happy! "
Happy?! I do not think is the right word ... I do not think I will ever be really happy now ... but I swear I'll do anything because my son is, it will always be my love, shall never want for anything ...
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